Where did you get a picture of my penis
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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