Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
