i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My liver just had a heart attack.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
