Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
