Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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