i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
