UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
