also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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