so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
