Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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