I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
