I'm drive I can fine osifer
Screwed.edu
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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