therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
