I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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