U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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