I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
