he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
