i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
