Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
