1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize