rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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