at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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