My hair reeks of homosexuality.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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