She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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