Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
