Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
