i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize