why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
