I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
