So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
