Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
