apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize