I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
