? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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