last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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