In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
