if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
false alarm. still invincible.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
