I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dear god my vagina.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
