Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i think i just lost a toe
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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