yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
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Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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