i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
