Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
