Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
