I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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