i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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