I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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