And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
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THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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