just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
