So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
