just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize