I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize