Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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