cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
