all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
