And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
