You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
