Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
