I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
