i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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