I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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