What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
