saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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